As the name suggests, this happens when someone compliments you, showers you with affection or grand gestures, or moves things too far too quickly. This may be to achieve a sense of emotional intimacy or security.
“I actually think people love bomb out of guilt,“ says DiNardo. ”Wanting so badly to be ‘in love,‘ wanting to experience positive reception from the object of the love bomb.”
She adds, “Everything is in service of feeling good, feeling important, feeling unique, and increasing self-esteem. Often, no matter the cost and at the expense of other people’s thoughts and feelings.”
What love bombing looks like
On the first date, your date hires a limo to pick you up. They take you to a five-star restaurant, surprise you with gifts, and spend all night telling you how amazing you look.
Playing the victim
People with NPD often have a strong sense of entitlement. They might believe that they deserve special attention or treatment.
They may play on your empathetic personality to manipulate you into helping them or going easy on them. You may find it difficult to abandon someone who seems consistently down on their luck.
What playing the victim looks like
Each time you call a loved one for help, she has a story ready to go. She can’t show up because she’s having another personal crisis, like a sprained ankle or breakup. But if she needs you, she may expect you to drop everything and help
Gaslighting
Gaslighting refers to denying the truth of a situation as you saw or heard it, which can confuse your sense of reality. They may be trying to avoid getting caught for something by turning it back around on you.
What gaslighting looks like
Your gut instinct tells you that your boss is covering up something you read in a report. But your boss may say, “That never happened. Maybe you should see a therapist. I’m worried about you.”
Triangulation
Triangulation is a way to isolate you from friends or family. It can take many forms.
One way is to get you to turn against other people or other people to turn against you. This can be done with a smear campaign — attacking someone’s reputation behind their back.
The hope is that you’ll side with them instead of the other person, who they may view as competition for your attention.
What triangulation looks like
You’ve been spending a lot more time with ”the girls“ lately. Your partner says, “I know you love your best friend, but I heard her talking badly about you behind your back at the party the other night.”
“I actually think people love bomb out of guilt,“ says DiNardo. ”Wanting so badly to be ‘in love,‘ wanting to experience positive reception from the object of the love bomb.”
She adds, “Everything is in service of feeling good, feeling important, feeling unique, and increasing self-esteem. Often, no matter the cost and at the expense of other people’s thoughts and feelings.”
What love bombing looks like
On the first date, your date hires a limo to pick you up. They take you to a five-star restaurant, surprise you with gifts, and spend all night telling you how amazing you look.
Playing the victim
People with NPD often have a strong sense of entitlement. They might believe that they deserve special attention or treatment.
They may play on your empathetic personality to manipulate you into helping them or going easy on them. You may find it difficult to abandon someone who seems consistently down on their luck.
What playing the victim looks like
Each time you call a loved one for help, she has a story ready to go. She can’t show up because she’s having another personal crisis, like a sprained ankle or breakup. But if she needs you, she may expect you to drop everything and help
Gaslighting
Gaslighting refers to denying the truth of a situation as you saw or heard it, which can confuse your sense of reality. They may be trying to avoid getting caught for something by turning it back around on you.
What gaslighting looks like
Your gut instinct tells you that your boss is covering up something you read in a report. But your boss may say, “That never happened. Maybe you should see a therapist. I’m worried about you.”
Triangulation
Triangulation is a way to isolate you from friends or family. It can take many forms.
One way is to get you to turn against other people or other people to turn against you. This can be done with a smear campaign — attacking someone’s reputation behind their back.
The hope is that you’ll side with them instead of the other person, who they may view as competition for your attention.
What triangulation looks like
You’ve been spending a lot more time with ”the girls“ lately. Your partner says, “I know you love your best friend, but I heard her talking badly about you behind your back at the party the other night.”