If you’ve ever wondered whether someone is playing games with you, you’re not alone. Experts explain the reasons behind it and suggest tips to cope.
You might have met someone and finally thought: This is “the one.” The roses, the love letters, the flirty texts — all of which have just reinforced this feeling.
Then all of a sudden, it all stops, and you‘re left asking yourself, “What happened?”
It can be painful, confusing, or frightening to be on the receiving end of these games. But if the person has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), these games — and other behaviors — may be nothing new to you.
If these behaviors are commonplace, you may be wondering how you‘ll know when it’s really over.
Knowing the reasons behind these games and how to identify them will help you determine your next steps.
Why do people with narcissistic personality disorder play games?
At times, it may appear that the goal of someone living with NPD is to get their needs met, which may involve other people who consciously and unconsciously help them achieve that end, says Dena DiNardo, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
“I advise against using the term ‘games’ when talking about narcissism,” she says. “I think it makes an already difficult situation sound much worse, much more malicious than it is usually intended to be.
“These ‘games’ are strategic manipulations,” she adds. “Often, they’re completely unconscious. People having trouble with this level of narcissism are usually in such deep pain that their ability to empathically connect with the pain of others is low.”
You might have met someone and finally thought: This is “the one.” The roses, the love letters, the flirty texts — all of which have just reinforced this feeling.
Then all of a sudden, it all stops, and you‘re left asking yourself, “What happened?”
It can be painful, confusing, or frightening to be on the receiving end of these games. But if the person has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), these games — and other behaviors — may be nothing new to you.
If these behaviors are commonplace, you may be wondering how you‘ll know when it’s really over.
Knowing the reasons behind these games and how to identify them will help you determine your next steps.
Why do people with narcissistic personality disorder play games?
At times, it may appear that the goal of someone living with NPD is to get their needs met, which may involve other people who consciously and unconsciously help them achieve that end, says Dena DiNardo, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
“I advise against using the term ‘games’ when talking about narcissism,” she says. “I think it makes an already difficult situation sound much worse, much more malicious than it is usually intended to be.
“These ‘games’ are strategic manipulations,” she adds. “Often, they’re completely unconscious. People having trouble with this level of narcissism are usually in such deep pain that their ability to empathically connect with the pain of others is low.”