#1 Dating Tip: Make Sure Your Date has a Conscience! ?P. A. Speers
Do not delude yourself into believing that the sociopath can or will change. Give up that notion completely. The best thing you can do is take the focus for solving the problem off of the other person, placing it squarely on yourself. It is your job to change and rescue yourself. Period. The other person is not the key to your happiness.
I have many people calling me asking me to change their partners. They want to bring their pathological loved one to therapy to be fixed. The harsh reality is that no therapist can fix a sociopath. But the person wanting help can be “fixed.” He/she has all the power needed to break free and live well.
Sociopaths have no conscience. Many appear to be “normal” members of society and may never physically harm anyone. This does not mean the person is safe to be around. If you suspect that you are having problems in your relationship because your partner is a sociopath do whatever you can to escape.
This will require great strength as I’m sure you have been brain-washed by this person. You will probably be in a trauma bond and are experiencing a form of Stockholm syndrome. Because of the manipulative nature of the sociopath, your relationship will be harder to break free from than other, more “normal” relationships.
The best way to accomplish this is to go “no contact.” Completely cut this person out of your life. Remove him/her from all social media and outlets of communication. File a restraining order if possible.
At first, going no contact will be difficult; but, this will save your life. Going no contact is a “game changer” when it comes to relationships with sociopaths. The manipulative input can no longer come your way when you stop having any contact with the person.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t blame yourself. Sociopaths can manipulate anyone. It’s not your fault. You were operating out of the range of “normal” relating. Sociopaths don’t do that, but most people are unaware that the other person does not have normal relating skills, but rather uses the techniques of seduction and exploitation. The sociopath uses people’s weaknesses to gain control. Remind yourself that it is okay to be weak and that the emotional abuse you’ve experienced is not your fault.
Build your reservoir of self-compassion and self-love. These are essential ingredients for recovery.
Build your personal power. Tell yourself you can be strong and you will be strong. Personal empowerment is the key to recovery. Do whatever you can to empower yourself. This removes your sense of security from an outside source. (The only “outside source” a person needs to be okay is spiritual and should never be placed on another person.)
Move on and build your life. If you find your mind drifting off to thoughts of responsibility for the relationship or feelings of guilt regarding the relationship, practice thought stopping. Don’t allow yourself to feel sorry for the sociopath. Remind yourself that sociopaths are masters at hurting others while at the same time manipulating their victims into feeling sorry for them.
Do not delude yourself into believing that the sociopath can or will change. Give up that notion completely. The best thing you can do is take the focus for solving the problem off of the other person, placing it squarely on yourself. It is your job to change and rescue yourself. Period. The other person is not the key to your happiness.
I have many people calling me asking me to change their partners. They want to bring their pathological loved one to therapy to be fixed. The harsh reality is that no therapist can fix a sociopath. But the person wanting help can be “fixed.” He/she has all the power needed to break free and live well.
Sociopaths have no conscience. Many appear to be “normal” members of society and may never physically harm anyone. This does not mean the person is safe to be around. If you suspect that you are having problems in your relationship because your partner is a sociopath do whatever you can to escape.
This will require great strength as I’m sure you have been brain-washed by this person. You will probably be in a trauma bond and are experiencing a form of Stockholm syndrome. Because of the manipulative nature of the sociopath, your relationship will be harder to break free from than other, more “normal” relationships.
The best way to accomplish this is to go “no contact.” Completely cut this person out of your life. Remove him/her from all social media and outlets of communication. File a restraining order if possible.
At first, going no contact will be difficult; but, this will save your life. Going no contact is a “game changer” when it comes to relationships with sociopaths. The manipulative input can no longer come your way when you stop having any contact with the person.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t blame yourself. Sociopaths can manipulate anyone. It’s not your fault. You were operating out of the range of “normal” relating. Sociopaths don’t do that, but most people are unaware that the other person does not have normal relating skills, but rather uses the techniques of seduction and exploitation. The sociopath uses people’s weaknesses to gain control. Remind yourself that it is okay to be weak and that the emotional abuse you’ve experienced is not your fault.
Build your reservoir of self-compassion and self-love. These are essential ingredients for recovery.
Build your personal power. Tell yourself you can be strong and you will be strong. Personal empowerment is the key to recovery. Do whatever you can to empower yourself. This removes your sense of security from an outside source. (The only “outside source” a person needs to be okay is spiritual and should never be placed on another person.)
Move on and build your life. If you find your mind drifting off to thoughts of responsibility for the relationship or feelings of guilt regarding the relationship, practice thought stopping. Don’t allow yourself to feel sorry for the sociopath. Remind yourself that sociopaths are masters at hurting others while at the same time manipulating their victims into feeling sorry for them.